I am lucky

Last night, I stood outside watching the lightening. I was holding an umbrella like an idiot. Anyways, as I watched the lightening, I thought about how awesome it looked. I mean, it was beautiful. So, of course, my mind started wondering. And even with all the bad things that have happened to me over the past year and a half (divorce, family, etc) I am truly lucky. Going through all of this has really mad my faith in God alot stronger. Don't get me wrong, I went through my spells of crying and getting mad at God and asking him why. But when I step back and really look at the big picture, I am really lucky. Even though I am getting a divorce, I'm lucky that we didn't have any children to have to put in the middle of this. I know that God has something wonderful in store for me. My biggest problem is instant gratification. I want to know what's going to happen next. It's not supposed to be like that. That's what FAITH is all about. If we knew what was going to happen day to day, what's the point in trusting in God. HE has a plan on his terms. I can sit here and say, "I trust in him, I put my faith in him." But if I still continue to worry about it, then I'm really not "walking the walk." Actions speak louder than words. I am still struggling with these things, but I'm getting better. I am a work in progress. I should wear a construction sign on my butt!!! But not only does everyone else have to be patient with my slow progress, I have to be patient. I believe that sometimes we fall, so that we don't forget how to get on our knees.